I'm mad. I hope that by writing about it I will get it out of my system and just be able to let it go and move on. Anyone that's been reading along knows that we have been going through one of the most awful things that a family can go through....the loss of a child. That's not what I'm mad about....well, I'm mad about it, but that's not what this entry is about.

What I'm really mad about right now is the fact that I've gotten the "cold shoulder" from a so-called friend ever since we found out that there was a problem with the baby. I've gotten more support from women that I have only known from an AOL message board for the last 3 1/2 ish years, most of whom I've never even met in person, than from this person who I have been friends with for 14 years. We were roommates in college. She was the maid of honor in my wedding. I was the matron of honor in hers. She absolutely did not even hesitate to open her home to us when I had fetal surgery, even though her husband was having his own surgery the next day. And yet there has been no communication, or at least no return communication, for 3 months now. E-mails I've sent have gone unresponded to, even e-mails that have been about Alison and have had nothing to do with the baby. Kevin did call once, in early August, I think, to re-thank them for having us stay with them while we were in Nashville for the fetal surgery reunion and to see what was going on, but since then we've heard nothing. The excuse then was that she and her husband just didn't know what to say. Fine. I can understand that, or at least I could at the time. But not now. We have a mutual friend, who is also pregnant, btw, who calls or e-mails to see how we're doing, if there's any new news. I could chalk it up to my so-called friend being busy, but just the other day I received an e-mail update from pregnant friend in which she replied to a message from so-called friend and sent it to me, too (it was about her recent ultrasound), leaving the original message from so-called friend. So apparently, she's not to busy for pregnant friend. It's just me.

And I don't really know why I'm so surprised. I mean, this is the same person who didn't speak to pregnant friend for nearly 4 years and none of us knew why. We had some ideas, but I don't think we'll ever know for sure. Anyway, I've decided that I'm done with all of it. I don't need the hassle, especially not now. The next move is hers, but I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for it.