When told that my daughter has spina bifida, after we got through the initial shock and devastation and went through with fetal surgery that we were told was unlikely to change her prognosis as far as her ability to walk, a thought occured to me. And that thought was that if she wasn't going to be able to walk, then once she got to big for us to carry all the time, she'd be eligible for a handicapped plaque and we'd be able to park in the close up spaces all the time. Of course, for Alison the surgery was a great success and she not only walks, she runs and jumps and does just about everything a typical 3 year old should, so no free pass to the good parking spaces for us. But that's ok. I'm quite happy with the alternative.

Searching for something positive to take out of our current bad situation, I was thrilled when my doctors decided that I didn't have to drink that disgusting super-sweet orange drink and take the glucose tolerance test. It's not that I think it's really all that bad, though I do remember feeling really crappy for several hours afterward, but I was still glad not to have to do it. There didn't seem to be much point to it, since we've been on fetal death watch for the last 11 weeks. So imagine how bummed I was today when my doc said she thought I should go ahead and take the test. But it's ok. Tomorrow I'll drink my disgusting super-sweet orange drink and be happy about it, because the alternative, even though we've been preparing for it, is much worse than feeling crappy for a few hours until the sugar gets out of my system.

Who else thinks like this? I hope I'm not the only one. I guess it's some kind of coping mechanism. A way of trying to take a couple of the tons of lemons we've been given and making a little bit of lemonade, so to speak. And really, I don't care if anyone thinks it's weird, because sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get you through the bad times.